Surviving it All

Did you know that there is a "Working Mom's Survival Guide" out there?  There are a number of intriguing thoughts around it, which you can find here, at Working Mother's website:  http://www.workingmother.com/me-time/it039s-your-turn-working-mother-survival-guide-0

 

I really liked the notion of the "Good Enough Mom".  How many of us Type A's need to have everything perfect?  You need to do the ironing, AND play with the kids?  You need to excel at everything you do - spouse, employee, motherhood.  I'm not saying that's a bad thing.  Let's face it, we are paid according to how we perform, and spouses & children expect just as much from us as our work can.  

 

Here's my thoughts on what the "Good Enough Mom" means:

• If you have a choice between cleaning the house, and doing something fun, think this way:  Will you potentially catch some form of bacterial infection because your house hasn't been cleaned since the millenium?  If so, you may want to choose cleaning.  Otherwise, what you can do is, engage the kids in helping you clean.  There are a lot of eco-friendly products on the market; buy some glass cleaner that your toddler can also use (or, vinegar & water), and let them work with you.  I think the key here is, though, the house doesn't need to be spotless.  I pay my 15 year old $10 / hour each week - with 2 hours of work - to clean the house.  I have a master list of what needs to be done, and have 4 cards with the selections that we just run through each week.  She gets money, and my house is cleaned.  It doesn't need to be cleaned to my perfection, but it's "Clean Enough".
• You can't make every event, game, school trip, etc, because darn it, work just gets in the way.  Best way to over come that:  Select a few to attend.  Remember to work your calendar so that you block the time you need with your family.  If you block well enough in advance, there shouldn't be calendar conflicts.  And if there is, bring your mobile phone with you, and potentially take that call over mobile.  The point here is, it can be done, you just need to find the balance that helps you.  The Good Enough Mom recognizes that she can't be everywhere at once, but she can be at those events her kids really need her at.
• Utilize your network.  Discuss with your friends / colleagues challenges that you are facing.  Chances are, they have been through it as well.  You can draw from their experiences, to help you through yours, and vice versa.

I'd be interested in hearing your thoughts as well!  What do you think of "The Good Enough Mom"? 

Have a great week!

Sometimes when it's sunny, you still need your umbrella

Today I had a great day .... at work.  You know the kind.  It all goes right, exactly the way you want it.  You look professional, you make complete sense, you get complimented on your work.  I love those days.  I feel like superwoman in a suit.  This was the day I was having, even after being stuck in traffic for 45 minutes, when it should have taken me 5 minutes.  With little movement, and drivers weaving in / out that were complete....well, you know what they were.  So even with that start to the day, I had a great day.

Had.

I told you though, that sometimes you need an umbrella.  That umbrella is usually to block the brown stuff that falls in torrents down on you.  You're having a great day, until the school calls you about "An Incident".  I won't get into the details.  They aren't important, actually, and it wasn't life threatening, and not something that I couldn't deal with.

The point is, it completely ruined that high that I was on. 

How many times have we walked into work, carrying the weight of something at home, to bring us down?  Or had a great day at home, only to read that crappy e-mail that we SHOULD have left for the next day.  Of course I had to take the call from the school.  Of course.  But to the same effect as reading that e-mail.

The question that I pose to all of you is: 
Which is more off-putting for you?  The incidents at work, that can completely rail-road your day / weekend / evening?  Or the incidents at home, that can just put you off completely, and force you to double fist down the chocolate bars? 

There is a pretty interesting website out there called "Working Mother".  You can link to it here:  http://www.workingmother.com/2007/4/home/eleven-reasons-love-being-working-mom.  The other day I was perusing it, and came across the "11 Reasons Why I love being a working Mom".  This is a very interesting read, I think was first published in 2007.   When I read it, I nodded my head at each one.  And, what I liked about it was it didn't put down, or say why you SHOULDN'T be a stay at home mom....it's just her reasons why she enjoys being in the workforce.  Very open & candid indeed.  So hear is my take on her info:

1. Work is easier than parenting.  This one I'm not sure I agree with, to be honest with you.  I find that both have their challenges, depending on the situation.  Let's face it, work isn't easy.  Dealing with a screaming 5 year old may be easier then dealing with a work situation  ;)  However, I think the message here is, parenting - or, at least the 9 - 5 (or 6, 7, 8) part of parenting - is not for everyone.  That's the keep them occupied part while they are not in school.  That's the constant cleaning up after them part.  That's really the part that is the "job" part of parenting, and that is hard.  All of us know this when we have sick kids at home, and we need to take time off to care for them. Or, we're on vacation!  What I love about being a working mom is that the breaks that you do get to spend with the kids are really quality time....

3.  I'm a good role model.  I believe this, actually.  I think that it's good for BOTH the female & male children to see a mom that works outside the home.  Reason:  I am indiscriminate about dividing up the chores.  My son, as an example, spends the summers cleaning our bathrooms.  I use non-toxic, environmentally friendly products that are safe for him to use.  And, after dinner / kitchen duty are shared between himself & his older sister.  My oldest will re-take on the bathroom tasks in September.  I'm actually paying her $10 / hour to clean the house.  Crazy?  Maybe.  But it gives her freedom to do what she wants with her money, and gets me out of having to do the bathrooms  ;)  Either way, the children know that a household is run by ALL members of the house.  Well, except the youngest.  She apparently gets away with not doing anything.  I should put that on my to-do list to fix ....

5.  I can abandon Stepford-wife standards of housekeeping  I loved this one.  Ok, since we're all friends here, I'll come clean (ha!  get it?)  I do NOT like to clean.  It's really not one of my favourite things.  So, any excuse as to why my house maybe a bit untidy is a good one.  Yes, there are cobwebs (which I try to get when I see them).  Yes, the baseboards may be a bit .... dusty.  Yes, there are probably finger prints on my walls.  & No, my house would NEVER pass the white glove test.  I would rather spend my free time doing something I like to do....Like reading, playing around with the kids, or truth be told, the chauffering between school & sporting events.  Regardless of what the past time is, it's really not spend on ensuring that someone else is satisfied with my home.....

There were a few others as well.  But the net was:  Working outside of the home can make us better, more rounded individuals.  Doesn't detract from those that do stay at home, it just means that we get different experiences that enhance us in different ways. 

But what are your thoughts, and favourites? 

Welcome to the Working Mom's Support Network!  I'd like to use this site for all of us working mom's to network with each other, share dinner ideas, cleaning ideas, time-saving hints & tips, etc etc. 

I myself am a busy mom of 3 children, both boys & girls.  I work at a very large corporation, and really do understand the pressures that you could be under.  This site is here to help.

Please feel free to start posting your hints & tips, and share with other mom's!!